Something occurred to me yesterday. Something so obvious that I’m shocked I haven’t seen it before…
A lot of the lenses I see myself through are either outdated or they don’t exist at all anymore.
I see myself as a lot of things, such as:
- Internet marketer
Almost all of those are either from a part of my life that is in the past (and long gone) or a part of my life that means little or nothing to me anymore.
I’ve been married for 23 years but the marriage has really been over for nearly 10 of those. I spent some of those years unsuccessfully trying to keep my wife happy, which really only served to make both of us unhappy, and the rest of them putting up with the status quo and not living my life. This one still hasn’t been resolved but it’s definitely not a lens I should be looking through any longer.
I’m still a father – that’s really the only one of these lenses that still applies. But even that has changed. My daughter moved 3,000 miles away to go to university last month and my son is becoming a teenager with his own life. I’ll always be their dad but as they get older, my role changes.
I’m still a techie to some degree but where I used to love spending hours or days tinkering with stuff on my computer, building and deploying websites and other such things, now I just want to get the stuff done well enough to make it work and get on with other things. This was driven home when I was setting up this website over the last few days. Between installing the site software, getting the hosting organized and installing the security certificates, I’ve had enough to last me for a long time.
Sidenote: Lol, while editing this article, I just spent about ten minutes figuring out how to make a footnote in the writing app I use (Ulysses). I can’t seem to get away from this stuff!
Woodworking is something I’ve always thought I wanted to do more of but never actually made the time. I’ve got a fully-equipped workshop that rarely, rarely gets used. I’ve been thinking that I should sell my tools for a while but have never been able to bring myself to do it because I’m a woodworker, dammit.
The last one, internet marketer, is a real loaded topic for me. I worked from home for nearly ten years and struggled with trying to generate enough money online to live the life of my dreams. I didn’t really even make enough to live, let alone live my dreams. I tried all kinds of things, most (all?) of which I didn’t feel good about. Looking back, it’s no wonder I was never successful – I was trying to force myself to do things for money that drove me crazy whenever I ended up on sites that did them to me.
This last point was made crystal clear in the latest Deep Abundance Integration session I listened to today 1. Steve talked about that exact thing – being an internet marketer and not liking many of the tactics being used by people around him. He learned he needs to do things his own way and not do things that other people say work as a means to an end (I’m paraphrasing a bit).
I wonder where I would be today if I had spent those nearly ten years doing things that were heart-centred for me instead of things that I read on some forum or in some ebook that promised to show me how to get rich online?
I think there’s a better question though…
Where will I be ten years from today if I start doing things that are heart-centred and in alignment with my beliefs and values?
I suspect I’ll be out of debt, living a comfortable, happy life with enough money to do everything I want, help all the people I want and put enough away to pass along to my kids and grandkids when the time comes.
And I’ll either be in a better relationship or none at all, enjoying my single lifestyle to the max.
Wherever I end up in ten years, it’s going to be based on what I do over those years, not the things I was doing half a lifetime ago.
We need to decide whether we want to be part of the past or part of the future.
- If you’ve read any other posts I’ve written recently, you may have noticed that DAI is a bit of a running thread. I highly recommend checking out this “deep dive” into abundance if you’re looking for a way to get unstuck and move away from scarcity, whether it’s manifested in your finances, relationships, job or any other part of your life. ↩